Texas Divorce Lawyer Blog

While it may seem farfetched to say that social media is the direct cause of broken relationships, according to a 2013 study published in the published in the Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking, individuals who spend more time on Facebook are more likely to “experience Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners,” which could then lead to a divorce.

Speaking with Vox, divorce attorney James J. Sexton notes that social media is a huge factor in a growing number of divorces and separations, adding that he can’t remember a case where social media was not the cause or, at the very least, implicated in some way. The pattern with social media, he says, is consistent: spouses maintain affairs on sites like Facebook or communicate with people they know they shouldn’t.

In other words, Sexton believes that social media has made infidelity easier than ever.

But there are other, subtler, reasons why social media can be dangerous to marriages.

Jealousy and Anger

If you’re in a relationship, you’ve probably, at some point, felt jealous about your partner’s behavior on social media, whether it’s because of the content they ‘like’ on Facebook or Instagram, or their interactions with other people.

And for what it’s worth, your suspicions may not be completely unreasonable, as one survey notes that one in ten adults admits to hiding messages from their partners. Furthermore, eight percent of adults in relationships admit to keeping a secret social media account.

These threats are so real that 14 percent of adults scour their significant other’s social media profiles for signs of impropriety and other questionable behavior.

Excessive Facebook Use

But it’s not just what people do on social media that causes conflict in relationships, it’s also how much time they spend online. More and more people are reporting that their partner’s excessive time spent on social media has negatively affected their romantic relationships.

A study, published in Computers in Human Behavior 22, compared divorce rates between states to Facebook accounts per capita and found a connection between time spent on the social networking site and a decline in marriage quality. In fact, a 20 percent increase in time spent on Facebook over a year was associated with a 2.18 percent to 4.32 percent increase of divorce rates.

The study’s model derived from the individual survey results also predicts that people who avoid social media are up to 11 percent happier in their marriages than people who are on social media all the time.

Social Media Only Complicates Existing Problems

Others, however, argue that social media isn’t so much the cause of separations, as it as a platform that amplifies known issues in marriage, such as distrust, infidelity, and jealousy among others.
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Even under the most amicable circumstances, getting divorced can be tough—more so if you have children. Even if you think your separation is for the best, your children may not see it that way. It’s not surprising then why research tells us that the best way to protect the well-being of your children during a divorce is to keep the process as low-conflict as possible.

For some parents, the solution that works for them is “nesting,” sometimes called “birdnesting.” 

What Is Nesting?

Nesting is the practice where parents keep the family home intact and rotate living with their children. This also means that both parents take turns living in separate residences when they’re not “at home” with the kids.

The idea behind nesting is that it ensures that the children’s lives continue to be as normal as possible. They don’t have to be uprooted from their home and they still get to spend time with both parents. But while nesting sounds like a great thing on paper, there are serious issues that you should be aware of if you’re considering this arrangement.

Accounting, Property Division, and Spousal and Child Support

Nesting presents potential legal issues. For starters, some states may not consider spouses ‘divorced’ if they engage in the practice of nesting. This, in turn, could throw a wrench in the terms of their property division and child/spousal maintenance orders.

Another problem that may arise from sharing a home in a nesting arrangement is the issue of who owns the property. There’s going to be quite a bit of accounting to be done, including figuring how to share the mortgage and upkeep expenses, deciding who will take the mortgage interest deduction, and deciding tax liability when it’s time to sell the home.

Financial Burden

You also need to consider just how expensive nesting can be. Aside from child support and alimony, you also have to deal with the cost of maintaining two separate residences, which can be too much, even for wealthy families.

It’s for this and other reasons that nesting should only be done on a short-term, transitionary basis. Anything beyond six months will be impractical and may end up confusing the children instead of putting them at ease. It may lead them to believe that reconciliation may happen in the near future.

Only Works If Both Parents Are on Good Terms

Another reason nesting should be done on a short-term basis is because it can create opportunities for the kind of conflict that caused you and your spouse to divorce in the first place. If you can’t agree to set aside your differences and put the children first for a few months, a nesting arrangement will stand on shaky ground.
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According to the Internal Revenue Service, if you have a capital gain after selling your primary home, you may be entitled to a $250,000 tax exclusion on your return. In fact, if you a file a joint return with your spouse, you can exclude up to $500,000 of the return from your income. But what if you and your spouse are in the middle of a divorce but continue to live in the marital home? What happens when you make the decision to finally sell the house?

Background on Capital Gains Home Exclusion Rules

The general rule, as per the IRS, is that spouses have a right to exclude from taxes any profits made from the sale of a primary home, provided they meet two main conditions:

The married couple used the property as their primary home for two out of the last five years
The profit from the sale does not exceed $500,000

If you’re single, the rule of using the home as a primary residence for two out of the last five years still applies. The exclusion however, is slashed by half and is now only $250,000.

Of course, there are other rules on excluding home sales from taxes, but the two above are the most important ones.

What About Divorced Couples?

For divorced spouses, the key is whether one or both parties will continue to live in the home and treat it as the primary residence. If both spouses are in compliance with the home ownership rule and take advantage of it, they should be able to exclude a total of $500,000 from the profit of their sale from federal taxes if they file jointly and up to $250,000 if separately.

But things can change as the divorce progresses. If the divorce has yet to be finalized, you can still continue to file joint tax returns. Of course, you need to consider the fact that among many divorcing couples, one spouse often moves out of the home. When this happens, the clock automatically begins ticking on the residency requirement of two out of the previous five years.

Your best bet to prevent time from affecting your sale is to sell the home in the early stages of the divorce. If the divorce drags on and one spouse decides to move out, that person may no longer be eligible for the full $250,000 federal tax exclusion.

When that happens, be ready for that spouse to ask for a larger share of the marital assets during property division to cover for future taxes as the divorce is finalized.

Other Considerations

If you plan on taking the tax exclusion, you should also remember that you can’t have taken one for another home sold in the last 24 months. In addition, if you remarry before selling your previous marital home, you may forfeit your right to qualify for the exclusion.
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The financial impact of a divorce tends to be one of its more overlooked consequences. For women in particular, what happens next after a divorce can be especially devastating to their financial security. It’s a phenomenon known as the “divorce gap,” and was first documented in a study that showed divorced were more likely to see their income fall by a fifth and stay that way, whereas divorced men were more likely to see their income rise by a third.

But according to a new study published in June this year by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College, there’s a way for divorced women to their retirement: having their own home.

The study also found that formerly married but currently divorced women have historically been more financially secure than single women who have never married. The Center for Retirement Research attributed the critical factor on home ownership, noting that divorced women are more likely to own a house than single, never married women.

But while these results speak volumes of just what it takes for women to survive a divorce in terms of assets and finances, many divorce lawyers and financial advisors are concerned that it might encourage divorcing women to insist on keeping the house in a separation even when they don’t have the means to continue paying the mortgage, pay taxes, and maintain the property, all while paying for all their other living expenses.

In other words, keeping the house is not necessarily the best move in all divorce cases.

The researchers, however, note that while the study specifically mentions home ownership as a factor for moving on from a divorce in a more financially sound position, they added that there’s a broader point to be understood. It’s that divorced women tend to benefit from receiving a fair share of any marital assets, compared to never-married women who can only depend on themselves when saving and accumulating assets to fund their retirement.

But there’s an important catch.

The reason the report specifically mentions a home is because of its illiquid nature. In other words, assets that divorcing women accept in the settlement should be kept intact until retirement. And it’s much easier to do that with a house, which also offers the benefit of building equity. But for other assets converted into cash for retirement savings, the researchers note that there’s a high risk of women dipping into their savings for other expenses, whether it’s a holiday or a child’s college tuition.

The report also adds that when it comes right down to it, regardless of gender, marrying and staying married is still the best decision from a purely financial standpoint. The study also reveals that overall, women benefit from an equitable division of assets with the help of their lawyers.
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Parental alienation in a Texas child custody case can escalate this already contentious part of a divorce, which has long been associated with parents trying to make each other look bad, into a level where one parent manipulates a child or children to reject the other parent without a valid cause.

While parental alienation has always happened in bitter divorce battles involving children, only recently have family courts in Texas begun to take notice and take action when this happens, as they realized that this could profoundly harm the child or children caught in the middle of a child custody case.

What is Parental Alienation in Texas?

In a formal sense, “parental alienation” happens when one parent intentionally manipulates the child (or children) to cause him or her to reject the other parent without a valid cause. In many cases, a parent will vilify and demean the other parent in front of a child, causing him or her to share the feelings of hurt and anger, which then strains the relationship between the child and other parent.

Why Does Parental Alienation Happen?

Oftentimes, parents intentionally or unintentionally alienate the other parent because they sincerely believe that having custody is what’s best for their child or children. Other times, parents will smear each other out of spite over the divorce or out of fear that their ex-spouse will cut them out of their child, or children’s, lives.

Under the Texas Family Code, the Court, which will always act in the best interest of the child, will try to ensure that both parents are equally involved in their child’s life. But the problem is that identifying parental alienation can be a counterintuitive process, as any judge or juror would tend to assume that children who dislike one parent must be doing so because of a valid reason. Assumptions would then point to abuse or neglect at the hands of the alienated parent.

Consequences of Parental Alienation

Conditioning a child to hate one parent through propaganda can be extremely harmful to a child’s development, as well as his or her emotional and mental well-being. For all intents and purposes, manipulating a child to believe that one parent has been abusive or unloving is tantamount to child abuse.

But as family courts continue to realize the reality of parental alienation, the burden of proving its existence during a child custody battle will ultimately fall on the shoulders of a capable family law attorney.

If you feel that you are being alienated from your child, a Texas divorce attorney will help you by recommending and facilitating these measures:

Calling in mental health experts to assess the psychological state of the child and your relationship with him or her
Seeking custody modification to move the child to a neutral dwelling
Seeking custody arrangements that let you maintain contact with the child
Requesting the court to order therapy as intervention
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A couple in Texas is considering filing for divorce to change their marriage status just so they can afford the medical bills of their six-year-old child.

Married for nine years, Maria and Jake Grey have arrived at the conclusion that a separation could be the most practical solution for their family. Their daughter Brighton suffers from a rare disease called Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome, a genetic disorder that causes delayed growth and development, impaired vision and hearing, seizures, heart problems, and kidney problems among others. The condition demands 24-hour care and expensive medical bills.

The Greys reportedly spend as much as $15,000 per year out of their pockets (representing 30 percent of their income) on Brighton’s health care needs—that’s on top of their health insurance. Because Jake, an army veteran, pulls in around $40,000 annually, the Greys are unable to qualify for Medicaid.

But there’s a solution, albeit a drastic one. If the couple were to divorce, Maria’s marriage status would change to a single, jobless mother of two, which, in turn, would make her eligible for state assistance. And while the family has tried to apply for state assistance in the past, they would be part of a huge backlog of tens of thousands of people, most of who have waited several years for relief.

This kind of financial planning is by no means new. The expansion of Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act (also known as Obamacare) provided health care coverage to all kinds of adults. In particular, it helped couples where one spouse was healthy and the other sick, ensuring that the sick person’s health care would not bankrupt the couple of their assets or make it difficult to keep their health insurance.

And so, some couples would seek a “Medicaid divorce” or a “medical divorce,” separating legally so that one partner could enroll in Medicaid and the other person could still keep their assets, whether it’s the family home, the car, or retirement. This option certainly has its appeal—it’s a vast improvement over drawing down on your home equity or retirement accounts until they run out.

Usually, couples who have filed for a Medicaid divorce stay together and continue to care and love one another—the divorce was only on paper. Still, this plan would still involve spending money and possibly cause family unrest. There’s also uncertainty as to whether a court would even approve this kind of divorce strategy.
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